Princess Cloudie

2008-05-26T20:18:00.002+08:00

i wish things were so much simpler. i haven been blogging. i hate to blog now.

while watching tv. i tot thru alot of things. maybe things really cant work out..or the biggest prob is me. i wish i could tell you how stressed up i am these few weeks.when i am alone.. i felt worse. the only reason i stop myself from doing so is cus i dun wan to receive replies like.. exams sure stressed wan .. u have to learn to take stress.. i wan my bf to pei me to destress me to make me feel better..but in some other ways i am misunderstood.. i really cant take it today thats y i persist u to come despite ur gums are bleeding.. i know u partly dun wan to come is cus i piss u off.. u dun have to deny that part and insist that i dun understand u or i think only abt myself.. wad could be worse than ur gf begging u to pei her?there are alot of things that we do which piss each other off..we have too much misunderstanding alr.. i nv feel good making u angry or upset.. i am more emotional and i will only feel much worse off than you.. no man could be violent verbally pr physically to his gf. the only reason i can think of such behaviour is that he dun love her as much.. i did make many mistakes.. did many wrong things..
it pains me that u actually initate breakup.if u dun mean it u wun say it.. u are tired.. i know. u always say i dun listen to wad u are saying but actually i rem everyword u said to me.all have an impact on me.. i make u angry. make childish decisions and piss u off.i swear i nv did them purposely..with all the stress and pms. i couldnt stop myself. its not an excuse.. u know very well that i love u alot.. wad could be worse than u saying u wan a breakup but i know in some ways.. i am really not good enuff for u.. perhaps u really make the right choice.like u always say we have different thinkings.. and u always say u are fed up talking to me.u always say i dun understand and i dun put myself in ur shoes. did u ?i felt sad that u left me when i am having my exams.. the most stressful period and i needed u the most.. only u can give me comfort..i feel so much better when i see u.. and a hug from u makes me happy..

just hope i can ace my exams this time.. (=

and pls pray that i can be a strong girl ok?

2008-04-30T22:12:00.002+08:00

i am in my room. very humid and i am feeling really uncomfy and lonely. everyone is quiet.

i am real stressed and tired.. i need to study more.

i need extra concern and i long for special love.. badly.

2008-04-16T02:12:00.002+08:00

thank you for the pretty pair shoes you got for me. appreciate it lots.

2008-04-16T00:58:00.003+08:00

i am hesitating if i should make this really delicious chocolate fondant..

i turned downed an event for tml...a little reluctant though.

i swear i was not trying to find fault or bored or sian.. somba it will not happen again.

when everyone is asleep.. i am wide awake.. geex.

today i learnt that my ex classmate(not very close though) committed suicide cus she thinks that her life is meaningless..

life can be meaningless unless we can find the right things to do and a goal to work towards(i'm glad i've a goal).. try not to take things too hard cus it will only make our lives more miserable..accepting wadever thats in-front-of-u is an essential survival tool.it will only make things worse if u insist things to go ur way all the time.. but on the other hand it could also make u look like a pushover, or someone who cant make ur own decisions.. hahaha.. give and take? unfortunately,it dun exist all the time

i believe there will be a time when my boss will scold me for making mistakes at work and blame me for all "fatal" conquences.. wad can i do? apologise!!!... and then suck thumb? and tolerate even though u may not think that it entirely ur fault.. definitely, i cant inisist that its not fault cus to my boss, its only excuses.. cant show him that disapproval face, cant scold him back right.. just accept one of the 2 possibilities..either get fired or clear up the mess and continue working but be extra cautious. i shall give myself the benefit of doubt that my boss is tired, stressed or wadever dumb reasons that can happen.. i wun say i have a very high tolerance level.. but i can say that my tolerance level is definitely higher than in the past.. and i jolly well know that there are alot of pple who can put on a very pretty mask to prevent the exposure of their true colours esp in the working society... could anyone get me a mask pls? i have a weakness for showing off my emotions and mood easily.. tsk tsk tsk. bad!

nevertheless, theres still a long way to correct myself in one way or another... (=

2008-04-11T13:31:00.002+08:00

to survive in this cold and real society, there are many many things i have to really change and adapt.

i am happy with myself..cus i know i am progressingly changing..over time, i realised that being over emotional or over sensitive is just an immature stink.commenting less and filtering certain stuffs are what i need to work on..

i wun blame anyone cus i know that theres a need to change to wadever the reality wants me to be.. to make life easier..

sounds serious?

gone are the days when i am a young girl who knows nothing but hehe haha...

2008-04-09T00:40:00.002+08:00

life has been pretty much the same..

i am happy to have these great sisters... esp when we seldom meet(say once every few months)..they will still drop me a sms and ask how i am doing.. it may be a simple gesture but its really sweet. =)

life's hard and only closing one eye can make life easier.

shag out..

2008-04-08T01:50:00.002+08:00

i do not know how to shift the slideshow to the left side of my blog.. i do not know how to archive my posts!! zzz.. i need help!

but i quite like my slideshow though. nice?

i am such a technology dinosaur.. i just learnt how to zip my files and it takes a freaking long time to upload the zip file to an email.. either my lappie lags or the internet connection sux big time!!!

i am ultra super tired and i feel like sleeping now.. but i cant.. i got so much things to do.. i need to study! my back is aching and my BM had slept. late nights are esp quiet on weekdays.

i had a super long tuition session today. i nv really like giving tuition cus i dun really have alot of patience.. but time simply passed so fast when i teach joel.

i went grocery shopping at cold storage today.. its something i really enjoy doing.. and i found this instant kway chap!! gosh.. they are my fav when i am really young and i know my cousins love them too.. there were more flavours back then. heex. i miss tom yum soup so much..... =(

need to chop chop do my things alr..

2008-04-08T01:40:00.004+08:00

2008-04-06T15:19:00.003+08:00

"HE IS MY BIG MAN AND I AM HIS SMALL WOMAN!"

i got a NEW BABY!! check it out......

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TA DAH!!!!

its "qi zai"

i fell in love with this cutey after watching cj7 at my grandma hse ytd.. and my B.M bought it for me at cine.LOL. i am such a childish girl! but i like it so much.. (= tks!

ytd was qing ming and as usual.. me and my relatives went to pay respects for my ancestors. and after that.. we went back to my grandma hse for lunch.. and i went off to town to meet my B.M to study cum shop.he bought my dodo lashes!! tks! i think i would want to try out invoi lashes! they have the super dolly type that i always wanted but out of stock. sadded. i bought dinner for my B.M.heex and we watched "Untraceable" at Cine. we seldom watch movie there.. and now i prefer to watch movies and GV marina or vivo.. the seats are spacious with alot of legroom.. and its not infested with so many youngsters! i still prefer to go town to watch movie late at night.. and then to supper or somewhere nice to chill out..

and the highlight of the day was my ultra crude joke.. why are malay girls always so skinny?? hahaha....

i have to help my tutee to do her research for her history project and her art.. and i have printed all the stuffs for her.. and i nv really enjoy doing projects in the past. cus it always unproductive project meeting sessions with lotsa gossipings and nonsense!and end up we have to rush like mad when the deadline is nearing.. and i am quite relieved that i dont have to do any project now..

i have yet to complete my task for tim..

but i feel kinda comforted that i have sorted study for my POA. understand so much better alr. and i finally understand the meaning of balancing balance sheet.(the most basic of POA) LOL. been so dumb all these while.. in the past duirng my secondary sch days..

tml is monday. another start of a week.. =( and in 1 mth's time.. i will sitting for my exams after everyone else is done with exams.. i am sad that when everyone is playing i will be studying but i am glad that i have more time to study..

drinking my mocha latte now.. and how i wish i could have 1 donut factory's double choco donut melting in my mouth.. or.. Chirpy's beer battered fish and chips?

p.s : m1 makes my blood boils with its trademark of providing inconsistent internet connection!

2008-04-03T23:54:00.004+08:00

exams are coming.. (ABSOLUTELY NEED TO STOP PROCRASTINATING!)

i've spent time planning and trying to do something.at least.appreciate?

i think i have perhaps become more independent.. and perhaps more courageous to face wads ahead of me..

instead of just following my heart.. everything i do now must be guided by my mind. i must learn to think. preferably the smart way.

2008-04-03T15:03:00.002+08:00

exams are just ard the corner.. i cant wait for the whole thing to be over.. or i cant wait to graduate..

dear is stressed.. i think i will be even more stressed than him when mine is nearing.. zzz. i hope my stress wun affect my temper.. dear jia you ok..

ytd was the first time i go for a 8.30am lesson in sim..finally a normal timing to go sch. LOL.. going to sch and going home together after sch with my dear is like.... kinda 'sweet'.. wonder wad it be like to be in the same sch and same classes every day. hahaha..like secondary sch couples.

my dear is going to help me do some of my PA work during my exams..and that makes him my PA.hahaha.. then who is my dear's PA? heex. dun worry.. he wun be a free labour.. hopefully he will be more productive than me.. then we'll have more money for our hols.. yay!

i am alittle sad that the 9pm show is ending.. we've been consistently chasing after the drama.. sounds crazy but we simply loveee it..

and i cant wait for sat.... i am going to bring my dear out... Yippies.. *jumping up and down*

2008-03-31T02:17:00.002+08:00

HAPPY 14TH MONTHIVERSARY!!!!
loves u forever and ever.. and we're finally going to eat the long awaited hougang plaza's western food.. abit cheapo though.. hahahah.. but we need to save save save alot !!!

i cant slp! either too much slp during the past few days or too much coffee in the day..

i cant decide if i should go for hair extensions..??

and i am listening to this song by ella.. hao gou gou.. hao gou gou. xie xie ni pei mummy zhe mo jiu.ni bing mei you li kai wo.. zi pan dao tian tang shen huo...... and the stupid dog is call qiang qiang..silly song!!

i have been studying for 2 hrs.. very sianz..

i am going to get 2 piggy banks tml. one for me and the other for dear.. at the end of each mth, we will count the coins together ok? quite fun hor and we can at least save abit this way...

i will get crazy thinking of how to save.. lol..

this june .. there's Great Singapore Sales!! sure got alot of best buys that u and i cant resist..

this july.. we have 2 trips..
genting trip : we need 400 each.(hope we win alot at the casino to fund our bangkok trip)
bangkok trip : we need 1k each..

and on top of that.. i would like to go for a batam trip to relax before a new sch term starts..we can go for spa and feast together.. and of cus. to buy doughnuts.

hahahaha... any tips on how to rob the bank without getting caught? i need a job badly.. and many well-paid events..

dear this holiday.. lets aim to save at least 1k... for our future.. (=

2008-03-27T23:25:00.002+08:00

i want to change and transform my room totally.. lol. i need to get a new cupboard and a bigger bed.. and a nicer coat of paint. and have a mini corner to slack.. (beach theme? or princessy theme?)wait till my hols.. i must do something abt it..

i want to go to so many places during my hols.. i would like to go to a beach resort with my dear.. and bangkok with my dear.. hope we win alot of money at Genting ok. i want to go on a big feast.. with a super wide spread of delicious food in front of me..

i fell in love with escada moon sparkle 's fragance..it smells soooo sweet. (my dear says my blog is my wish list and he will get it for me.. LOL!!)

yes yang meh meh!!.. we can go shopping someday.. and show me that gorgeous burberry bag!sikali i also fall in love with it.. and i will start dreaming of having one.. apart from getting high over clothes and bags.. rem we were very HIGH over manicures and pedicures.. and how crazy u were over turquoise colour. LOL. getting attached could be a good thing.. so dun dread abt it.. at least he is there for you all the time, sad, happy, angry,vexed, pmsing..its nice to have someone to love and to shower ur love to .. and its romantic to have that tian mi mi feeling.but sometimes couples do quarrel and be upset with each other.. and after understanding each other more.. alot of things could be resolved.. (= its time to get attached.. esp since u have 200% gotten over him. heex.

Sometimes I feel terribly old to be 23 and sometimes I feel that I’ve not grown up, according to someone.. LOL.. i am scared sometimes on how time passes by so fast.. and soon.. i have to take my exams..i dread that... very very very much..

i am miss ing u alot. just feel tat i shld tell u this that i really love u alot although so many things had happened. i feel that is bcos i love u alot. no matter wad happen, u are always the one i think of and the one i want to love..

awww... sweet! thank you. (=

2008-03-26T00:03:00.002+08:00

i found my purple furry shoes finally.. really happy and that pair of shoes means alot to me. (=

i miss sch suddenly.. weird? its been some time since i went sch alr..and i look forward to seeing my grandma tml..

i promised myself that from tonight and every nights from now.. i must do at least 100 sit ups.. but on tired nights.. min 50 situps. LOL.. and the next thing is to buy a skipping rope..

now.. i just dun mind alot of things alr.. guess it will makes me a better person?

anyway.. i have a super smart fren who can skip yr in uni.and still can get 1st class honours.omg.i feel stupid.. or rather not as smart. hahha.

2008-03-25T10:38:00.002+08:00

today is my dearest vivian's bday.. i hope i can find something nice for her as a belated present.

yang meh meh.. isnt it sweet to have so many guys going after and showering you with their love..and busy dating.. enjoy life huh. (=

i have an event tml.jacq make it sound until its so 'fun' and i decided to drag sherry to do it with me.lol.hopefully we get selected and get to work together.dear was right that i was tempted to work cus its 20bucks per hr and the money earned can pay for my genting trip... (=

from jumbo, downgraded to mayflower's crabs... and downgraded to home-cooked crabs.abit sad but the money could be used to fund my dear's Itouch..sounds practical?but its ok.. we still have a surprise in the morning.. that should make up ba.

initially i wanted a longchamp bag very much.. but i think i should just get a charles and keith bag.. some of their newer bags are quite pretty..and its less than 50 bucks(4 times cheaper than a longchamp bag).. but bag can wait.. i am dying to do my hair extensions.. since so long ago..isnt it gorgeous to have long and pretty curls?hopefully i can get them done before 5th april..

since the day we got together, i've alr placed my whole heart with you and i just hope that you will love and care for me truly each day. i wun look back to see what you had done for me.. but i will always look forward each day to see what you will do for me.. i am trying my best to be that perfect girl/gf to take care of you the rest of your life.. loves you always.

2008-03-24T13:16:00.003+08:00

its a bluey monday. mondays are always so boring to me.

but i look forward to weekends. i need to get a pair of pretty shoes.. badly!

and i need to get some facial products.. my face is rotting.. and i dun wan someone to puke at my face when he kiss kiss me.. lol.

and i am going to have a baby cousin this weekend. dear u must go with me to see this baby ok. and i want to get some cutey stuffs for her.

and i cant wait for my june hols to come..

2008-03-22T23:36:00.002+08:00

she is such a bitch.. and she will always be deemed as a bitch. puiz!

digressing.....

weekend was good but alittle tired.. actually it was a long(but fun) and i-nv-study-at-all weekend. hahahaha

thurs: i had tuition and then it was kelvin's bday celebration.dear waited for me at kovan mrt for more than half an hr and it was a great effort for him to come all the way from boonlay to wait for me.(rarely!lol) but plenty of thanx dear. heartx u! i had a nice dinner at fish and co. i love the seafood platter for 2. i ate alot until someone says... "dear u still can eat ah?"sobz. after dinner was ktv with them. it was really fun.. and super hilarious. hmmm.. and the last time i went for ktv was abt a yr ago.. and it was on kelvin's bday too..

fri : wakey early and went church with dear and his family. and we had lunch at imperial treasure after that.yumz. and we went back to dear's hse and slpt. we were just so tired and i feel good after that dreamless 2hrs nap.. and dinner was homed cooked by dear.. creamy pasta.. so delicious. and at night .. as usual.. we went night driving and we watched Vantage Point. i like the movie alot..very exciting.. it has been a looooong time since we last watched a movie at vivo's gv max.its so comfy and i simply love the spacious leg room. excellent choice by my dear.. we explored a super duper pretty and romantic place to chill out.. but too bad it was closed by the time we reached there.. imagine sipping wine or a hot latte while the cool wind blowing at ur face..enjoying the pretty night scenry and when you are looking out into the sea, you see the gorgeous yatches right in front of you.. isnt it an amazing place to chill out with ur loved ones? marina by keppel bay!!! here i come.......... soon. (=

sat : wake up quite early and we had lunch with my good frens at miss clarity cafe..and we went to watch WaterHorse after that.. heartwarming movie.. and it was raining super super heavily after the movie.. so cold. was supposed to study at taka library after that but they had moved on...... wad de. and will only reopen in yr 2010. choy! by then i would have graduated!!! and i kinda look forward to step into the working society..breaking away from my current situation and achieving a higher standard of living for myself. (=

i am so going to have a perfect bday this yr! heheh... cus i dun wan to just have a dinner with dear and close frens..i find it so boring and i want something totally different!!princessy bday of the yr???!!! hahahah.. and i swear i wun have any lousy club bday celebration(at dblo?)geez! any special idea?

2008-03-19T23:43:00.001+08:00

made up. happy already. (=

its great to have MOBTV account.. hahahahhahah

2008-03-19T15:00:00.002+08:00

i admit that i am not understanding at times.. i will try to be more understanding but it definitely helps if only u can sometimes understand alittle abt why i react this way..

rem how u reacted when i din turn up at ur place after i met my sisters for dinner? i understand how u feel and i know i kept apologising

you said u dun see any future?

i felt like a loser when i only know how to cry and cry and cry and cry. and its worse when everyone else think that i am the cause for all the consequences.

2008-03-17T14:05:00.005+08:00

check this thing out.. it actuallly very tiny and very cute.. dear bought this cutey japanese toy from wheelock from me. thanks. i love it. mini tiny bit steamboat? hungry anyone??

i got my first cardigan! its cheap and i can use it very often when i go sch, go watch movies with dear and of cus when theres events...hehe.

sat was good. going to sch for marketing revision is very productive!(btw, its my first time going to sim on a saturday)lol.. dear came to fetch me after my sch and he bought me cleo..its been such a long time since i read cleo.tks dear! we went shopping ard in town.bought eye lashes too.. i;m absolutely in love with dodo club's lashes and their glue.. (all tks to xiaxue's recommendations! hahah) we went food fair at suntec..and theres this oily smell on me after going there.. and of cus.. we caught a movie at ms.. as always. spiderwick is wad we watched.. shant see that its super good but i quite like it.. (= but we didnt have popcorn.

on sun i work at sheraton towers.. its SIA recruitment day. so many hopeful applicants came hoping that they will have a chance to fly. of cus.. i would like to be an air stewardess.. if only i could stop eating so much and be 10kg lighter..a chance to see the world foc. but now i want something more practical.. (=

yang meh meh.. i am happy for you. must update more ok. *hugs*

2008-03-14T23:20:00.002+08:00

melancholy.. =(

however i received 2 pleasant news today. i got an event with ibm and another to be part of organising an event with some big firm. i turned down the second one cus i have to commit for a month, 9am to 7pm which i cant. sobs but its ok.

yang meh meh.. when i blog now.. i am looking back at those days where we just sit at osc and gossip away.. if not we'll just be blogging or flowerpodding away. or singing away. if we din set up a blog together, probably i wun even have a blog now.hahahah.. there are too many hilarious stuffs lar..though it was abt 3 yrs ago but i felt that it was just ytd.. i am glad that we are still keeping in touch and talking our hearts out during the occasional msn..and i super miss those crazy laughing sessions together with you and the rest.. (=

i fear darkness and loneliness alot.and i dun really want to feel neglected..

wouldnt it be nice if there is a tear sucking device?

2008-03-14T13:47:00.003+08:00

i am very lonely and depressed.

i wan to give up slowly alr..

i really need you to comfort me. badly.

2008-03-13T23:54:00.002+08:00

but that freaking shyt is fucking painful..

i shall forget everything and study. tml i got tuition and i look forward to seeing my grandma. i know she will be very happy to see me. (=

i am going to take up more events to keep me more occupied.. and i look forward to the pay.. so i can afford to buy all the stuffs i need and love to make me feel happy when i am sad.. (and beautify me of cus!)tats keeps me going..

i concluded that i am not attractive enough..

2008-03-13T01:20:00.002+08:00

it takes time to realise alot of things....

to realise if we will be perfect for each other?

to realise that my love for you has always been so strong.

to realise that being together with someone is more than just love though its impt but there's so much more to it.. its the commitment, encouragements+supports as well as trust that keep the relationship going strong. we dun have to see each other everyday but we know we miss each other.. (= there are several times which i feel really upset.. but i know thats part of a being in a rs.. there's always ups and downs.. we should cherish one and another.. and u must know that i am really good to you and i did put in alot.

i am touched by ur testi. thank you.

i am still doing my research..(i take such a long time..am i so incompetent?)..initially i did complain here and there..but i am glad that i have come across one more valuable example to add on to my marketing essay.. its a crucial example cus its such a big organisation. hahaha. blessing in disguise?

it has been raining the whole day.. super cold. i suddenly tot of Happy Pot. food again? LOL

i am snacking on one of my fav tibits, SUPER RINGS. very cheesy.. i like it. but dear like Cheezels but i dun really like it cus its alittle too hard to my liking. we both love cheese..no wonder we can be so cheesy at times.hahahha..

2008-03-12T14:39:00.002+08:00

i have decided to take up the SIA event. enough of events alr.

dear i am going to bring you out on 5th April (Sat).. gonna be a nice and relaxing sat.shhhh.. dun tell you.its a date ok. it will be like a mini "encouragement" for you just before your exams. i bet u will be stressed by then so i wan to relief that stress for u..hopefully abit. (= must push aside studies from afternoon to late ok. hehehe

i want to go on a hol soon.. i cant wait to go bangkok to shop and eat.

2008-03-12T01:39:00.002+08:00

i cant slp as yet. gonna blog something cus i have this number 1 fan who will peak at my blog so often. hahah

i have a hard time doing my research...and it can be very tiring to read thru the wordy website of big companies. shag. money does not come by easy.. =(

i saw my bro on the kfc advertisement.errr... see it for urself and u will understand.

tuition was alright. but i think my science sux or rather sec 1 sci is so hard nowadays..how did i survive back then? poor me.

i look forward to sat... i wan to watch movie at marina square..and i want to eat carrot cake from esplanade...and i have cravings from lor mee..

tml i will update more.. rest well..and i love you.. drink more water ok...

2008-03-09T22:47:00.003+08:00

i shall give u a nickname, yang meh meh?abit crappy hor but thats cloudie! (= i am so surprised that u also enjoy taiwanese hokkien drama..yay! i dun feel tat old anymore.. i rem how me and my grandma glued to the tv to watch the hokkien drama(according to someone its called talk one language speck one language show). i miss those days.. so i will go and visit my grandma as often as i can and i love it when my grandma dotes on me.

its my dad bday today and its been so long since i have a good dinner together with my family and my grandparents ..

i wish to be on Singapore Flyer too.. i think it will be so romantic.

i have food cravings now..fried prawn mee,lor mee,creamy pasta.. i am a very tam jiak foodie.

i hate sundays. i hate mondays. i hate it when i have to start the week all over again.. zzzz

2008-03-09T11:35:00.002+08:00

i am so hungry so here i am munching the popcorns away.. quite nice but i still prefer cinema popcorns. can we get a small popcorn the next time we watch movie dear? (and i bet my dear will go.. wad! u open the popcorns without me?) lol

i did not study alot this weekend but... i swear did not feel sinful at all. (=

cus i have a great weekend with you. though we did not do anything special but its the company that matters most to me..

i am so in love with ur pasta baby. no wonder you are pastaboyboy.hurhurhur.. i felt loved when i eat them. i want more! and its always movie after dinner at his hm. followed by night driving..its crazily fun to be driving round and round geylang just to find a stall that is supposed to sell good food.but we cant find it. =(

caught both Rule #1 and Step Up 2 at our official cinema(tell u a secret next time) but i prefer the latter more.

we walked alot alot ytd.. and its no wonder why baby's legs are aching..lets have more fun next sat ok?

wouldnt it be a nice combi if we could have chirpy's fried fish and fries with muji's milk tea/coke? yumyum.

take care ok. drink more water.. dun wan you to fall sick. loves u.

2008-03-07T02:05:00.002+08:00

back from supper at thomson..feel so bad that i kept giving my dear the wrong directions.. and he has to drive and drive ard. sorry dear!

dear ordered hot coffee with lemons.novelty? taste weird.not nice.. it was so funny to see you pretend that its nice.. u're always so adorable. hugs!

i got my first tuition assignment and it starts tml! thanks dear. (= and i cant wait for my creamy pasta from chef jon after my tuition. thats makes my day!

nowadays dear and i are glued to the channel 8 programmes..and its super enjoyable watching the current 9pm drama with my dear. its so funny.. and i simply enjoy ur company, tucking myself safe in ur arms.. (=

seriously i think i will back out and not go for my marketing paper on sat. i am scared..

2008-03-05T23:07:00.003+08:00

i was thinking.. and being inspired to be an attractive woman..

3 most impt elements to the way of being attractive.
(1) Attitude (confidence + strong mindedness)
(2) Brains (so i can be smart and speaks well)
(3) Financial Freedom (so i be non dependent on others to support myself and my shopping desires)

unfortunately, i have yet to accomplish any of the above. i am at the age which i should be charming and capable but i am still here, sappy and useless.

i blamed myself for not working hard in cedar.. in srjc.. and worse..dragged to sim.

i must jia you and work doubly hard.. i know i cant reach the sky with just a step but i have promised myself that i should not give up.. cus i dun wan to be 30 when i am capable but i dun mind being part of the singapore tartler grp at 30. (=

easier said than done..

right now.. i must start the ball rolling by doing well for my exams.. and be nicer to everyone esp my dear and my family..

2008-03-05T13:00:00.002+08:00

the barista did not smile and say ok.

i hate myself. i am such a weakling.

2008-03-04T23:10:00.002+08:00

initially tot i could earn some money from the IT show but i din get the job. i was quite disappointed. =(

i dun feel like studying or doing anything else now.

tml is my grandpa's bday..if only its a sat, it would be great if you can accompany me to celebrate his bday. my grandparents esp my grandma would be so happy to see u. well.. i'm going to buy something nice for him to eat tml.

tml will be a better day.

2008-03-02T14:42:00.003+08:00

back to sunday.

i had a wonderful week with my dear. and the highlight of the week is.... picking up the sweetest mangoes from a huge mango tree just beside my dear's place. how wonderful and exciting!! and we are going to pick up more mangoes soon.. and dear.. i want my pasta on friday ok?

as usual.. it is a must to watch at least a movie every week. (=

meet the spartans was funny.. but short.

The Leap Year was good. i need to get hold of the book to read. btw.. its the first leap year spent with my dear.. hmm.. how are we going to spend the next leap year?

i think we should go back to modesto or that crystal jade korean place on 29th march (sat) to celebrate our month end. wad do u think? which one do u prefer?

u seems to be feeling quite "down" these days. no matter wad i'll be by ur side ok. if u dun wish to go back hostel.. we can always study together at cp's library.. if u are in hostel.. i;ll visit u to keep u company.wadever it is.. cheer up a little ok.loves u always.

2008-02-29T00:51:00.003+08:00

back from bliss cafe. we had a fun time there.. sipping hot chocolate which taste like hot milo and munching on cheesy fries and laughing our ass off occasionally was indeed quite blissful..

i have a goal that i want to achieve by Dec 2009. (=

happy 13th months baby! i love u always x 13!!!!

2008-02-27T23:20:00.002+08:00

the existence of fairy tales has always been living with me.. but i must face the reality already. *slap myself*

i love to be loved and be pampered by my love. i love to be sent hm by my love.. i love to have everything taken care of by my love.. but now all these do not possess as much importance to me as before..

right now the most important thing i need is for my love to love me truly and sincerely care for me.. and perhaps be there whenever i need some comfort.

i did change. my temper is definitely so much tamer. but i know thats not enuff. i am learning to be more independent..to solve problems myself..and i am really learning very hard to keep my emotions to myself.. and of cus to say lesser things or rather to make comment less. but all these takes time.

its seems tough to me but in the long run it could make me a better woman. thats why i am not complaining. but sometimes i am a tad disheartened....... =(

today i am really stressed.its one of the rare occasions where i just break down after a paper. i really do need some serious comforting...

hmm.. i hope my grandma gets healthier and healthier each day and at least i dun have to worry so much abt her.

2008-02-24T13:40:00.002+08:00

i was served a cup of luke-warm coffee with a pinch of bitterness.

i need a cuppa badly to perk my sleepy afternoon up so i drank it. i thought that i would storm to the barista to demand for more sugar but i did not, surprisingly. its just a mere $1.40 cup of coffee and why so troublesome..whats more.. the barista could be tired after making so many cups of coffee.

the coffee tasted too bitter to my liking but too much sugar is not good either.

hmm..it could be a good thing that i should grow to like coffee with less sugar or perhaps in future when i visit this coffeehouse again..i will tell the same barista that i like my coffee slightly sweeter..

will he give me a stern look and say"additional sugar extra 10cents!" or will he smile and say "ok?"

but at least i know what type of coffee i would order when i visit this coffeehouse again.

2008-02-22T00:54:00.002+08:00

the only reason u reacted this way is bcus u are sick and unwell..and on normal daysi believe u wun be like that and i really never blame u(remember!)

i cherish my friendship with my sisters.. esp since we only meet once every few months.. i cherish our relationship alot too.. even if i dont do alot of things to show it.

dun really like the idea of being misunderstood. probably cus one may think i'm full of excuses but its enough to make someone get hurt by saying that..

call me a crybaby. it could be a blessing in disguise that at least i am not emotionless. but it does make you sick to see me cry right?

2008-02-17T13:31:00.004+08:00

my dear and i had so much fun this Feb!! was busy shopping ard for clothes and all the cny goodies..no mood to study or go lectures..cny is also a good excuse to allow us to slack and enjoy max. fun!! and next .. valentine's day came along.. another day to enjoy with my darling. darling bought me a pretty wallet, a bouquet of roses and a card!lovess it loads! we had a great dinner at hm!! and of cus great sparkling wine at demspey. can that be our official place for vday?i love that place..i wan to try all nicest sparkling wines they serve with my dear.. (=
last.. darling nv go back to hostel and this gives us more time to be together.hehee. dear. lets go cp library and study more often..drinking hot chocolate and eating chunky wedges while we mug ok!! *i see my dear's so excited face now!* lol

some of the niceeee pics we took during the festive and romantic seasons!!

ytd was hse visiting with my darling. so much fun and so much food. dear i must say that ur pasta was ultra delicious.... much nicer than the first few times u cook for me.... cook for mE!!!!!! we played blackjack..initially we won alot of money.. but lost all at kelvin's hse.lol. nevertheless.. me and my darling makes the best combi.. he being the card distributor.. and me being the cashier..hahahahh....lets celebrate cny and vday every single yr of our life ok.

dear.. this yr is leap yr..hope we will work hard and work out something the next leap yr ok. get wad i mean? love love u lots. muacks!

2008-02-09T02:47:00.000+08:00

Kung Fu dunk was funny!
Ah Long Pte Ltd was even funnier!! ji li hai wor!!

1st day of cny was the same.. going to my grandma hse and then baby came to fetch me to his hse for dinner.. his dad is a great cook!!!and the best part was my baby bringing me go gai gai.. and catch a movie at ms..

2nd day(today!!) i went to baby's grandma hse for lunch and hse visiting to his cousin's hse.. his cousin's baby girl was soo chubby and cute.after which . we went to my 2nd aunt's hse for dinner.. and lastly to catch another wickedly lame movie(hahahahah)at ms again with my bros and jac.

cny was not too bad.. however.. some how.. i just dont really feel the excitement abt cny as previous yrs .perhaps i feel old or perhaps i am feeling alittle depressed recently.. still cant forget abt that day..

anyway right now.i must adjust to exam mode and focus and not let anything affect me. i am so going to be hardworking.heheh.unblieveable sia.study study!!!

2008-02-07T03:11:00.000+08:00

CHINESE NEW YEAR!!!

wish myself happy + lotsa luck this yr + more brainy

i should be smiley and happy.. (= shall throw away all my worries. this is gonna be a better year for me. i feel so much better now. tks for being there for me all the time esp when i am down with so much tots in my mind..and when everyone else has no idea wads bothering me. i am a crybaby all the time.cus thats my way of venting my emotions out..

first day of cny. i must doll up and make myself pretty pretty.

2008-02-05T01:01:00.000+08:00

made a lantern for baby. its pretty. will upload a pic soon!

i am happy now. baby slpt alr. miss him lots. yay tml he is coming hm and we're going vivo to get a pair of long awaited pedro shoes!! dear had reserved the shoes at 3 Pedro outlets. someone is kiasu. hahahahha...and we're going to have a long long cny weekend! its our 2nd yr celebrating cny together. more more more more luck this yr!!we're going to watch 2 much anticipated movies together!!!! yippies. i love festive hols cus i can see my baby. and he wun be in hostel which is sooo freaking far away.

sorry baby for being nasty to u. bleahx. but i still love u loads.

i had an extremely long day in sch.zzzz.. cf+macro+poa=stoned mind+headaches=me whining to my dear

now.. its time for audition! and i swear that i will master chance one day. hahah.

2008-02-01T00:47:00.000+08:00

just hope that things will work out better in future.

just hope that you can see the changes in me.

just hope that you wun get angry so easily and i wan the old you.

just hope that you will let me explain sometimes.

loving you always

2008-01-30T00:24:00.000+08:00

another happy day! have been feeling very happy these days.. (=

spent my day with my grandparents.watching 4.30pm taiwan drama (tok one language speak one language show according to my dear) with my grandma is simply enjoyable.. both of us love the show alot.. and we have so much to discuss. i wish i could rent the complete set and watch it with my grandma.. and i think both of us will watch non stop and skip meals. hahah.

dear says i am a good girl today. hehehe

ytd was monday but there's no monday bluez!!! sch was normal.. but highlight of the day was meeting my dear after sch at jurong east. we went IMM's MOS to study abit..i have this "special diamond ring" from my dear.. we had a great discussion abt doing biz!!

baby and i are going to bangkok+phuket this aug to buy back all the super cheap stuff to sell.. we're going to sell them at flea markets, blogs, ebay.. hahah. i know alot of pple are doing it.. but it makes a difference if i am going to do it with my dear!! i cant wait for aug!! thus we're going to slog and work hard from june to aug to save more $$$$. exciting!

if i have alot alot alot of money.... i would....
(1) bring my grandparents and my dear out for the best seafood/chinese dinner
(2) buy my dear the best leather wallet and a PSP(i feel that he kinda like it)
(3) get my licence and buy a car.. me and dear loves late night driving
(4) go hols with my dear and my grandparents
(5) buy myself a diamond necklace/bracelet

i will convert to a christian if i am going to marry you. (my promise to u)

2008-01-27T23:38:00.000+08:00

i am in love with this song... "sometimes when we touch".. so nice

weekend was definitely great!

on fri night, me and baby had a mini bbq at his hse! it was fun.. and we had so much food!i love to slack at home with baby.. so cosy and comfy and so relaxed. at night.. baby drove me out.. i love late night driving with baby.. we went chinatown but stalls are closing as it was kinda late.. the night ended with a prata session at jalan kayu. dear its so sinful!!!

dear came to my hse on sat to fetch me.. and we head to town in the afternoon. everywhere was sooooo crowded..baby and i dislike crowded places.. and we decided to go shopping on wed.. hopefully it wun be so crowded.. yeah!! we caught THE MIST. i like the movie.. and i enjoy watching movie with baby every week.. its our std thing to do everyweek. hahaha.

dear i love you.

its sunday! visited baby at his workplace..

i am going to look forward to this coming week. monday me and baby gonna study together, wed we are going shopping, thurs is our ANNIVERSARY, fri baby wanna buy new yr goodies and sat .. i wanna bake cookies for my baby.

happy happy happy

2008-01-23T23:35:00.001+08:00

YIPPIES!!!

had a great time shopping with my darling at vivo and marina square! he always help me to choose my fav clothes and give me comments. i loveeee shopping with you and its always so fun hanging ard with you.. with all the craps and jokes! "you say it best.. when you say nothing at all"

my dear bought me a red bag!! i love it so much.thanks baby. i bought a niceee dress from Joop!
dinner was great! we lovee our jap hot plates so much..btw donuts from donut factory is awesome... makes pple fly up in the sky and scream BEST! hahahaha...

gonna start mugging for exams alr!!

2008-01-22T23:56:00.000+08:00

i had a great dinner with my grandparents. my cramps got so much better after seeing them. i loveee my grandma super much and i knows she dotes on me. heheh.

missing my dear lots. wish he is by my side while i read my marketing notes. yippies! we're going on a "date" tml.

mini bbq this fri at dear's hse. just the 2 of us!! i cant wait.. shopping at daiso for the cutesy bbq stuffs was simply great! (=

2008-01-22T00:33:00.000+08:00

wooohoooo.. its beeen more than a yr since i last blogged!! i miss blogging actually.. so much things have changed.. and i am very happy to have a new life.. and someone great to take care of me.. showering me with all his love.. (=

tired. bloody cramps. and its a chore that all women have to suffer it every mth. damn.